Soulmates and Sparklers

IT HAS JUST HAPPENED AGAIN. I was taking a stroll along the river this afternoon lost in no-mans-land, grateful for an early Spring breeze after the biting snows of last week when a young woman appeared from nowhere and asked me if she could ask me a question. I stopped and nodded.

“Can I ask you why you are so calm and confident?”

“Well, I suppose I just am,” I said.

“How do you manage that? Is your life in order and house nice and tidy?”

“My life is in order and my house is tidy in parts,” I replied. “But I am intrinsically still.”

This pleasant girl started to relate her dilemma which centred around a man who was her one and only soulmate without whom she could not evolve spiritually. She told me she had done the necessary work on herself but he had not reciprocated to reach her level and had decided to go AWOL. She was bereft because she could not proceed on her spiritual journey without him and her angels had told her as such.

Some crystals she had bought reminded her of the negative energy she felt about this man and she wanted to clean them, but her angels had told her that if they were cleansed, she would detach herself from this male influence and lose the only way to evolve spiritually. She spoke of an Angel Healer whom she wanted to contact about her situation and seek help about her overwhelming negative thoughts.

She then informed me she had had a spiritual awakening and that she had to keep evolving, moving on and on, up and up by improving her life because that is what she was told to do, but she was in turmoil about  the man and the crystals; what should she do?


I mooted she did not need anybody to evolve but was complete in this moment, of course. Furthermore, the man came and went so that is what happened –  let it sit. In direct speech, it looked something like this:

“How can you be attached to another in the assumption they will assist you to evolve? You are completely whole to start with. It is the mind that is creating fragmented thoughts* which are leading to your turmoil for which there are no immediate answers apart from the fact that the entire story is illusory. There is no intrinsic meaning, Just mind-garbage arising in the emptiness that pervades all creation and the great unmanifest.”

As for the idea that the angels informed her that she cannot live without this man and she must not clean the sparklers otherwise she will lose him, I found truly disturbing, I reminded her all we are and have is love. No angel would threaten or speak of undying attachment and she should dispose of the crystals if they upset her. Let go, I urged.

And when I spoke of the void and emptiness,  she looked at me blankly. I told her with clear hand gestures that there is nothing else except this moment; two people standing talking on a riverbank towards the end of the day. So I now need to explain something quite clearly.

Spiritual awakening is the realisation that there is nothing that can be accessed and categorically proven to be an essential “I”. It is the experiential hands-on epiphany that establishes that there is only a deep, black hole within leading into infinity in which that which we call the Creative Principle, God, the Ultimate Divine or anything else that pulses cosmic life, resides.

It is dark, wild, boundless, alchemical, mysterious, indefinable, smooth, fluid, magnetic, playful, multi-dimensional in all its subtleties, and it is the location of peace that passeth all understanding and expresses the profoundest love possible.

It emanates in you, through you and is you. THAT and only that is spiritual awakening. Anything else where theories, opinions, must-dos or ideas of one person evolving at the expense of another are pure psychological mind-games. Emptiness cannot evolve, but the time spent resting in pure awareness naturally increases as the mind slows down and ceases to blow its hackneyed old trumpet because it realises and recognises defeat.

Let me repeat – out of this ethereal magnificence, thoughts arise and fall, and life spontaneously happens without any input from you.  These thoughts are neither good nor bad; our labelling determines their descriptions and thus starts life-long suffering and turmoil.  It is the extraordinary perception that all around is “you” as the ethereal magnificence that is emanating from within – it is the very same.

The ordinary becomes extraordinary. Anger certainly can arise but quickly dissipates (I have great difficulty finding Zen when talking to the banks, grappling for a vanished pdf, or excruciatingly filling out visa forms. Traffic wardens are improving). Nobody who has experienced a true spiritual awakening could conceive of cracking their nut with a stranger over cleaning crystals as much as I wanted to help her. She could not understand that her mind* was creating this agonising drama.

There can be NO dilemma about anything because it is all seen to be fluid here-today-gone-tomorrow happenings, and the whole damned thing is divine, and indeed it is silently and profoundly holy when the subtleness of the vibrations is felt. How I felt sorry for her, but what could I do? I gave her the name of a therapist I know to whom she could discuss her angel messages with the hope of some clarity from those other more refined dimensions.

She asked me if she could stay in touch, but I just wished her well with the politeness of hoping we might meet again on the river path.

Savour this moment- feel it in its entirety without analysis, story-telling or point of view. This is all we have. It is a supreme gift that has arisen in your awareness, unique and temporary. Taste it, smell it, breathe it, rejoice in it.

It will never come again …




* This is not strictly true and I will return to discuss mind in a future blog. For the sake of dialogue here I am allowing it to sit peacefully.

Selima Gurtler is a spiritual writer, philosopher, poet and Jnana yogi.

Her modern teachings to Self-Realization and Liberation are uniquely flavoured through the perceptive eyes of her Indian and European heritage.

Free copies of her books are available for download here:

His Holiness the Dalai Lama and His Grace Archbishop Desmond Tutu are patrons of her work.



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