How does it feel to be free?
It is an emptiness of bliss and joy and eternal peace, but which settles into every day normality, because these sensations become the daily familiar – your life is lived as a supreme prayer, unfolding in its cosmic magnificence. You become the ultimate subject without object.
It becomes an ongoing exploration into the vastness of being after awakening into this emptiness of the divine, which in time reveals its secrets and mysteries as the exquisite subtleties of your existence are perceived through a refined non-cognitive understanding.
It is sometimes not possible to recognise a person who has experienced true liberation because he often looks unchanged, particularly if he is not a practising a specific spiritual tradition. The man on the street may have found enlightenment, but he is just your fellow passer-by.
Inwardly, however, there has been a radical transformation and evacuation of any entity that could resemble a personal “I”. Sometimes, it can be sensed that the person has nothing inside – that they seem palpably empty and light. Searching for some core indication about who they are often fails, and this is because they are, indeed, without an interior full of suffering, failure, conditionings and existential despair. There is an inability to label them with an identification because there is none perceptible, so they remain intangible and a mystery.
To be free is to recognise the body and mind are not you; it is to live without the human filter of mental conditioning, and to look out directly into the world and see exactly what is there. Thoughts, ideas and emotions rise and fall like a sine-wave, and disappear into the ground matrix without any sense of ownership or requirement to act.
“THOUGHTS AND EMOTIONS simply RISE AND FALL LIKE A SINE WAVE ON THE X & Y AXES OF LIFE.”
YOU ARE THE SACRED DIVINE PRINCIPLE INCARNATE
It is only possible to live in the moment because the past and future do not exist, and there is no grasping mechanism left to create a story or to weave a fabulous dream for the “self”, because the self and all its hang-ups has vanished.
The mind quietens and is used when necessary. It is a wonderful tool and highly creative, producing inspirational work if necessary, but it rests easily and all the urgency of life becomes completely meaningless. Matters seem to sort themselves out without much action, although anything of importance is dealt with immediately if necessary. No-mind is a natural place of repose and the governing state of being through the day.
The senses and colours are heightened after the dissolution of the self. An impromptu silliness can and does arise regularly, because life is seen as a cosmic joke. Nothing can shake the ultimate peace that is experienced, although agitation can arise and fall in response to a stimulus. The emptiness that reveals the Divine is seen everywhere, and everything that is perceived including people, buildings, facts and figures is seen as being essentially entirely empty.
You live exactly as you were supposed to live. In full glorious expression of all the fascinating aspects of you, in your sublime and majestic uniqueness. You ARE the ultimate Divine principle incarnate, an unfathomable, sacred and supreme cosmic frequency which has reduced its speed to flow through you, and as you, for the pure, unmitigated joy of recognising Itself.
This incredible and visceral account of her journey dispenses of any notions of glorious bliss and divine ecstasy, as Selima vividly and meticulously details the agony of spontaneous spiritual death.
In this short personal story, Selima Gurtler weaves the passage of her own early life as a solitary cross-cultured child born into a bigoted and racist London in the 1950s and her life search to find herself and to answer the question: “Who am I?”